Since I could write and since my grandmother gifted me a unicorn diary (with a lock!) when I was five, I have been fond of expressing myself with DRAMATIC FLARE! And sketches! And paltry excuses for song lyrics! And melodramatic poetry!

Let’s take this example from 12/14/02. I was 13.

Unbridled Life It’s a cruel Life “In This Cruel Life”

You’re the last thing I think of
When I fall asleep.
You’re the first thing I think of
When I wake up.
You’re in the air I breathe,
In the thoughts I think,
In every beat my heart beats.

All I want is to be with you,
But that is the last thing I could do.
My hand reaches for yours
But then I draw back even more.
It’s a cruel life
Full of pain and strife.
All I want is my prince charming,
My white knight, so disarming,
But I have to avoid a fight,
In this cruel life.

You’re the first word
On my tongue,
You’re the biggest
Thought of all.
But I have to keep it in,
Pretend that I don’t care.
Play along like I’m not there.

All I want is to be with you,
But it’s the last thing I can do.
My head leans toward yours,
But it’s back before you’re sure.
It’s a cruel life,
It cuts like a knife.
All I want is my super Hero (<<original capitalization.)
My loving and caring Superman.
But it’s too bad I’m your Kryptonite
In this cruel life.

You’re the answer
To my questions.
You’re the form
Of my suggestions.
But I have to put out that fire,
Pretend that I’m a liar.
Find another buyer.

All I want is to be with you,
But that is the last thing I could do.
My hand reaches for yours
But then I draw back even more.
It’s a cruel life
Full of pain and strife.
All I want is my prince charming,
My white knight, so disarming,
But I have to avoid a fight,
In this cruel life.

But I still love you,
Even in this cruel life.


And scene.  Please, take a moment to laugh. No, I don’t remember who I was writing about. I was (and still am, apparently) very fickle when it came to love. If I caught someone looking at another girl or caught a whiff of their post-gym B.O., it was sayonara.

How about the chorus from the song penned 11/13/02 titled “The Pressure to Succeed?”

There’s a pressure to succeed
Stop! Before your soul starts to bleed.
Must it take stress to succeed?
Success is not always what we need.
So Stop! Before your soul starts to bleed.

How about the undated, unfinished little diddy aptly called “I’ll Be There?” I’m unsure if I was inspired by the Friends theme song, but their version wins, as you’ll see. I think this predates ’02, as you’ll see since I’m going to leave in all errors, cross outs, and original spellings.

When your heart starts to feel alarm
& UR smile starts 2 loose it’s charm
When your head starts to spin
When you feel you cant wait win
All you gotta due do is just hold on.

When your clothes feel way out of style
And trying to think takes a while
When you can’t consentrate
When you feel UR 2 late,
All U gotta do is just hold on.

And I’ll be there,
U know I always will,
I’ll be there to hold U thru the nite,
Untill the morning comes and takes
UR problems Away.

When UR mind starts to feel the pain
and you realize life isn’t a game


Another untitled, undated, unfinished failure is this. Please, tell me if you can make any sense of it, or know what, exactly, it is about which I am writing.

It’s like being abused by a baby.
It’s like throwing a punch at a beauty queen.
It’s like laying in bed when you’re hyper.
It’s like watching yourself on a movie screen.

It’s like kissing a prince to get a frog.
It’s like getting sweat in your eye.
It’s like mowing the lawn by hand.
It’s like letting him make you cry.

… … … HAHAHAHAHAH RAUCOUS LAUGHTER! Mowing the lawn by hand? What does that even mean?!? HAHAHAHAHA. Sadly for me, I think I was around 14 judging by my handwriting and proper grammar.

I also found a 4th grade version of when I remixed “In the Jungle (A weem a weh).” I will not post such awful.

I, shockingly, found the first song I ever wrote. I was in 3rd grade, and it is titled “Life is Hard.” I’m not sure what, exactly, is hard about life when you’re eight, but here it is, in its sweet entirety:

Life is hard,
But you gotta live it through.
Life is hard,
But I keep on loving you!

We can’t see the future,
Neither you or I.
Doesn’t matter, we can’t waste it,
Time flies by.
Gotta take a chance once in a while,
Or it doesn’t matter if you step an inch
Or run a mile.

We can see the trees,
Swaying in the breeze.
We can’t see the air,
But we know it’s there!

Life is hard,
But you gotta live it through.
Life is hard,
But I keep on loving you!

Life is a hard game,
But inside we’re all the same.
Dark or light,
Black or white,
When they open up and let you hear their mind,
You might be surprised at what you find.

Life is hard,
But you gotta live it through.
Life is hard,
But I keep on lovin” you!

There are other contenders, but I think “Life is Hard” might be my opus. I also found several not-so awful songs, but those aren’t embarrassing enough to post online and this is already far too long. The reason I felt like diving back into my past in the first place was that I wrote a poem on Saturday for the first time in many years. It saddens me that when I’m going through 4 rEaL hard life, I haven’t used writing to work through my emotions. I hope Saturday was a clue that I will start again.

Stuck “In This Cruel Life,”


This may (not) come as a surprise, but I am single. So single, it would seem, that Facebook feels the need to remind me of that fact Every. Single. Day.

“Want to meet Christian singles?” it taunts me in the sidebar of nefarious advertisements. I am usually able to smirk and say “Yes, of course,” or “Not on Zoosk, I don’t.” But recently the ads have become a little more, shall we say, aggressive.

“All alone?” One read the other day. Thanks, Facebook. now I’m acutely aware of my aloneness.

“Why Not You?” It asked, with a picture of Snooki, of all the ungodly people. It wanted me to apply to an Austin-based reality dating show.

No, thank you.


Though often taunted and occasionally tempted, I have never clicked on the abusive dating adverts. Facebook recently took note of this and became down-right cruel. Right below the Kristin Chenoweth Quiz! and right above the Hair and Nails for $20, I see this:

Designer Engagement Rings!

O, Facebook, thou art a bestial and callous wench! Of course I want a designer engagement ring! Of course I want to meet Christian men, and yes, thank you, I am all alone. But I also need you to back the frick off and mind your own bidness. The bidness of letting me stalk hot guys and people from high school who have had babies and nose jobs.

Stalk ya later,


Hello my darlings.

Today is an important day, as it begins my timely, predictable posting on this here weblog. Please be excited. Every Monday the post will be beauty-related and titled “Makeup Monday: Weekly Theme.” You can see a prime and not obvious example of this on this very post.

If you know me, you will know that I have a burning addiction to makeup and all beauty products. I should probably seek counseling, but I just recently vowed to stay away from Sephora. Ergo, Makeup Mondays should be therapeutic for me. Every day I fight with myself and with God about whether or not I should enter the field of Makeup Artistry. I stand at attention with my tapered blending brush cocked and aimed, ready to add the perfect crease color. It’s seductive, the idea of playing and painting for a career. But it is not my greatest talent nor is it for the common good. So I pack away all 5 of my active tubes of mascara and resign myself to having only myself and my ever-appreciated friends as a client base and I think I’m okay with that.

Therefore, every Monday, I shall put on my Makeup Artist cap and shout to the internet of my vast (and arguably useless) knowledge and vaguely biased opinions and from the ashes shall rise Makeup Monday!

This week’s topic? The pink lip. Yet another obvious title reference. Someone, please, stop me.

The beauty of the pink lip is its versatility and its wonderful ability to transition from winter to spring.

1) In these late winter months, a matte or frosted dark pink with burgundy tones is appropriate. Some of my favorites are:

Covergirl Lip Perfection Lipstick in: Coquette 375, Feline 385, and Sweetheart 390

Clinique Different Lipstick in: Rose Aglow, Ice Bloom, and Shy

On particularly drab and dreary end-of winter days, you can pair these with a subtle grey eye on the lid and a dark grey smoky shadow liner (stick to the lashline for a conservative approach, or smoke it out to your dramatic heart’s content.)

For the eyes, some recommendations would be:

Maybelline Expert Wear Eye Shadow Quads in: Charcoal Smokes 04 and Velvet Crush 20.

MAC Eye Shadow in: Forgery for the lid; Silver Ring or Print for the liner.

When it’s not as cold out or the sun is shining and so are you, stick to a neutral eye with soft, shimmery browns and skin tones.

I think we’re all intelligent enough to not need help picking out a neutral eye shadow, but I can’t resist the urge to recommend the Too Faced Natural Eye Neutral Eye Shadow Collection:

2) For Spring, BRIGHT is the word! Bold color is in, and the makeup world is your oyster as far as pigmentation goes.

Want opaque? Revisit our friends at CoverGirl and squeal over Fairytale 405 and Siren 415.

Also opaque and my absolute favorite drugstore lipstick is the Maybelline Color Sensational Lipcolor. For opaque, spring-appropriate brights, try these. I live for the melon-toned Pink Peony 035, Pink Me Up 045, and Pinkalicious 055 and the berry-toned Party Pink 155.

Want a glossy, moderately pigmented lipstick? Try my favorites over at Clinique, the Butter Shine Lipstick in Pink-a-Boo, Pink Goddess, and Fresh Watermelon.

3) In the milk-curdling, hair-frying, dragon-fire heat that is a Texas Summer, you have two options:

Tell summer to suck it and rock a neon like those offered at MAC in Something New, Show Orchid, and the amazing Impassioned (pictured below).

Or you can stick to barely-there shades that won’t show if they melt off your face, such as the Maybelline Color Sensational Pearls Lipcolor in Twinkle 705 or Pearly Pink 720.

Of course you could always go natural and use your sweat as a lipgloss, but that is NOT fabulous. If you do decide to rock a lip product in 100% humidity, make sure you prime and line before you apply your lipstick. As far as completing the look, whatever you can get to stick to your face works. The beauty of a bright lip is that you can get away with a waterproof mascara and a cream highlighter on your browbone and look put together.

4) A more forgiving option for younger or less adventurous trend followers is, of course, a gloss. Pigmentation in glosses these days run the gamut.

At the opaque end, you can rock the OCC Lip Tars in Memento, Divine, Pageant, or Anime (seen below). This product is amazing and a teeny tiny drop of color will paint your lips and will stay put no matter the heat index. They are a lipstick in gloss form, if that makes any sense. (I know it doesn’t, just trust me and buy one.)

For moderate color, a splurge on a MAC Lip Glass or two might be worth it. I’d recommend Nymphette, Pink Poodle, or Lust. And who could forget the Viva Glam Gaga Lip GlassGaga

And last but not least, for sheer yet build-able gloss (with SPF!!), I adore Clinique Long Last Glosswear, especially in Clearly Pink, Cabana Crush, and Bamboo Pink. I’ve had a tube of Bamboo Pink in my purse since high school (not the same tube…) and I absolutely adore it.

And there you have it, folks! The many, many options for a flirty and playful pink lip. I hope y’all enjoyed this week’s Makeup Monday.

Leave a comment and tell me your favorite pink lip product.


How to begin a blog? I’m familiar with blogging, having done it rather steadily before, but, like my dating life, it’s been a while. So I suppose this counts as our first date. I wish I had known, I would’ve put on something other than these baggy purple shorts and a paint-splattered tank-top.

So, hello. Thanks for asking me out. This is great. I like wine, sure. If you want to know more about me, you can click on that fancy, convenient tab above that says “About Kaitlin.” In case you already forgot or if you’re so nervous on our date because baggy purple shorts really do it for you, I’m Kaitlin.

Instead of continuing with this played-out date metaphor, allow me to tell you a grand story, full of Christmas magic, a hint of Christ-like love, and a healthy dosage of “What the hell?”

Picture it: December 12th, 2010.

I had just finished my Independent American Cinema final and I was free at last! I headed back to my apartment and called my friend, K-Hi. We had been planning our “Friend Christmas” for many a week, and on that night, Austin was our oyster. We agreed she was going to pick me up at around 6:30 and that we were going to go to Thai Kitchen, our favorite place. Even writing it out makes me crave their steamed veggie dumplings.

I piddled around my apartment for a couple of hours, losing track of time on the internet and then scrambled to clean up the evidence of a week spent studying; mainly copious amounts of used coffee cups and empty Diet Coke cans. I gathered all the components of her Christmas present and put them in a pretty blue snowflake bag that I had bought a few days ago at the Dollar Store. I realized I had no tissue paper to speak of, so I filled it with some empty grocery bags so that she couldn’t peek in and spoil her Christmas surprise.

I ran and changed into a nice outfit and actually did my hair and makeup. All of these things are strictly luxuries during finals, when I more resemble a homeless zombie than a human being, but I digress. K-Hi arrived and I ran out to hop in her corolla, resisting the urge to jump and click my heels together because I was so happy that friend Christmas had finally arrived! When I got to the car I saw a blue snowflake bag sitting in the passenger seat. It was the exact same bag that her present was in, back upstairs in my apartment. I was speechless for a bit, but gradually regained my composure amidst the greetings and the “You look cute!” portions of our conversation. I told her about the bag coincidence and we laughed, once again marveling about how our lives are so similar. We quickly forgot about the twin snowflakes when the conversation turned to the promise of dumplings and hot-hot bird pepper.

We made our way the 1.5 blocks to Thai Kitchen and were bummed when someone else had taken our usual booth. We may or may not frequent Thai Kitchen on average of every 3 or 4 days, but again, I digress. We were seated at a table by the window and as we started pouring over the expansive and enticing menu, we noticed that we had arrived in the land of Awkward Dates. Directly behind me were two older professor-type men who were seemingly on a Man-Date and were thoroughly enjoying their mind-numbing conversation on everything from when one of them would return from Israel to lawn care.

Near the Professors was a couple of freshman. They looked neither cute nor comfortable together and K-Hi almost had a heart attack trying to suppress her laughter when the boy tried to grab the girl’s hand and she resisted by playing with a straw wrapper. She also giggled incessantly. We ate our delicious meals in spite of these strange people who had crawled out from their caves to howl at the moon and nibble substantial amounts of Thai food.

After paying our bill and waddling to the car (One has not properly experienced Thai Kitchen if one can walk normally to the car) we decided we could squeeze in a drop or two of frozen yogurt. We sat in two small, squat chairs by the front of the yogurt shop and talked and giggled until the sad moment when there was no more yogurt. Our spirits were revived, however, when we remembered a gift exchange waited for us at my apartment.

We entered my apartment and I immediately pointed out the bag, exactly the same as hers. We stared at them together for a reverent moment, pondering what it could all mean. Then I took a picture.

It is seriously disturbing. And seriously cute.

Then we decided that we needed a silly picture together, but that involved figuring out how to use the self-timer on my camera which took an inordinate amount of time and only worked once, to give us (and now the internet) this gem:

This shouldn't have seen the light of day.

She’s the cute one and that’s all I’m going to say about that because there are important things like presents to talk about!

We sat down and decided the most diplomatic way to open presents was to take turns pulling items out of the bag. She went first after she apologized for having mismatched tissue paper and I apologized for not having tissue paper. K-Hi pulled out her first gift, which was a pointsetta kitchen scrubber. Which was twice lovely for her as she adores both seasonal items and kitchenware. Then I reached in and my first gift was a super-cute snowflake-themed oven mitt which was twice lovely as I adore seasonal things and kitchenwares. We weren’t quite aware of the irony yet as she plunged in for another gift. She pulled out a glass wine stopper with an etched “K” and was excited because she had “been needing a wine stopper!” I laughed and told her how she had admired it in Steinmart when we went shopping on Black Friday and I had sneakily grabbed it and added it to my merchandise.

She started laughing and told me to pull out my next present, the smaller one. I reached in and emerged with a beautiful necklace with a treble clef charm. She had bought it on Black Friday in JC Penney while I wasn’t looking. For those keeping score at home, that is twice we’ve gifted one another thematically similar things. And then there’s the snowflake gift bag which, frankly, still blows my mind.

She then opened her next gift- a packet of Gingerbread flavored coffee that I had bought for her from the annual Christmas craft show at my church in my hometown. “Is this from Heartwarming?” She questioned, excited as we love this particular brand of flavored coffee as well as Heartwarming Christmas, the craft show. She had been unable to go this year due to a scheduling conflict.

I opened my next gift then and it was a bottle of Basil Parmesan dipping oil from a brand of sauces and marinades that we love. She had bought it at a Christmas craft show in Austin which I was unable to attend this year because I was sick.

Can we all just let this sink in for a moment? Isn’t this all so freaky? There were a couple other knickknacks exchanged, but I still can’t get over how creepily parallel our gift exchange was. I’m not sure if we were picking up signals of what the other was giving us, or if we just know each other’s interests that well, or if we were each buying for ourselves and giving to the other. I’m not sure.

I’m sorry this is so long. I tend to get nervous on first dates and then I start to blather.

Merry Christmas!