What a week!! Despite deadlines and birthdays and wedding planning and all of the things I make a part of my life, something has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now, and I’d like to talk about it. So if you’ll indulge me… perhaps grab a blanket and shot or two of your favorite liquor, because, let’s be real, I never say anything worthwhile succinctly. Or anything worthwhile at all. YAY!
I understand loneliness. On an intimate, soul-crushing, all-consuming level, I understand it. I lived it. I walked in it, struggling for what seemed like each breath under the heavy-handed tonic of loneliness. It’s an ache you can never fill. Sometimes it wraps around you so tightly you can barely breathe, and like a locked seatbelt, the more you move, the tighter it gets, a safety net forming to keep you from moving, keep you from changing, it mummifies you.
So how do you escape the creeping toilet paper hands of mummies, or whatever this metaphor is?
Ah, yes. Purpose. When you find your passion, your true raison d’être when you base your identity in exactly what and who you were created to be, then you will see how full your once empty heart can be.
The two might not seem related, but bear with me. Loneliness, I believe, is completely internalized. Left unchecked, however, it begins radiating outward. It affects how you feel about yourself, how you stand, how you laugh, how you talk to new people you meet. It affects your confidence, your essence. Do you know what does the opposite? Living to your purpose.
Don’t know your purpose? Join the probably billions of people who feel the same way. Pray about it, meditate on it, Google it. Whatever you do, seek it. Find what makes you the truest version of yourself. Art, chemistry, a high-powered career, singing lessons, stamp collecting, being the valedictorian history buff-ing, whatever is your purpose, embrace it. And please email me if you think your life purpose is stamp collecting.
When you fill your heart with what fills it to the brim, with what you were created to be doing, you will no longer have the obsessive thoughts about how you’re not good enough. You’re not pretty enough or thin enough. Why don’t the kids at school like you? Why aren’t you popular? Why isn’t he texting you? You just want to talk to him and see him, but oh, you know he’ll never love you. We’ve all been there. Some of you are still there. And my heart breaks for you.
But you (and God) can change that. Seek your purpose. Put yourself out there, and soon, you’ll meet people with similar passions that will be such encouragers to you, it will blow your mind. Enough can’t be said for the support of a biblical community. And since we’re blessed to live in 2012, you can find the support you need online if not in person at a local church.
I see a few of you rolling your eyes, thinking, “Yeah right. My purpose IS to be a wife. What now, fancy pants?” And to that I say, “First of all, these are cheap jeans. Second of all, I can totally believe your purpose is to be a wife.” Then what?
What kind of wife do you want to be? You’re called to be your husband’s helper, in all things. Learn those things. Learn how to cook, learn how to budget and manage finances. Learn how to be completely self sufficient, completely secure in yourself. Make yourself into the formidable woman of God that your husband deserves. Don’t waste a moment wishing he was here. Make him wish he hadn’t missed all the moments he wasn’t there.
Find your identity in the Lord, and He will lead you to your purpose. Blessed enough to know your purpose? Start living it.
I have been so convicted recently about not wasting time. And I don’t mean for you to rush ahead or to make snap decisions. I just mean that if you are not actively working toward and in your purpose at least a few minutes every day, you are wasting more than time. You are wasting yourself. And when, as I believe, one of the greatest gifts we have is life, wasting yours is a tragedy.
How have you lived your purpose recently? Have you at all? I’m returning to mine… hence this blog post. Hold your heads high, children, and know that you are never alone.
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Do not be discouraged,