I don’t feel like blogging today. Clearly. I haven’t been busy today at all, and yet here we sit, almost 11 p.m. and there’s no post. So here’s your lousy post, you impertinent reader!
Just kidding. No one even requested a post. I have just spent too many hours doing this to give up now. Plus I really enjoy it. I am just in quite a mood today. I don’t know why. Maybe because I tried a new and expensive hair care brand on a whim and I LUFF it and now I’m going to have to figure out a way to not break the bank and still have soft and shiny hair.
Maybe it’s because there has been yelling idiotic pubescent people in the pool for the last SIX HOURS shrieking like howler monkeys in mating season. Howler monkeys with dirty, filthy mouths and annoying whore laughs. (Sorry. Guess they’re a bad influence.)
I’m sure any of my male readers (yeah, right) will think I’m insane, but the girls will relate: I feel like I need a good ole fashioned shower cry. I need to watch Titanic, put on some of my favorite crying jams, and just let the steam and steady stream of warm water camouflage my tears.
I was even going to indulge in some emo poetry since April is National Poetry Month, but I know no one likes my poetry. So I shall not. I shall attempt to control my anger with the escalating shrieking of the sorostitutes and Frat Daddies in the pool. Count to ten, count to ten…
One, two, three… 78910 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!