Valentine’s Day sucks when you’re single. Anyone who says it doesn’t is just lying better than the rest of us. Every. Single. Commercial drops the V-word like it’s an all-access pass to Heaven. (It’s not, by the way….) So today’s Fashion Friday is all about dresses I would wear on Valentine’s day that strike the elusive mixture in my heart of hopeless romantic and hopelessly dedicated to a life alone.

You might not think such a union is possible, but believe me, it is. I live with it every day. And there are a few rules to reach this balance.

1) Red is strictly off limits unless it is in lipstick or nailpolish.
2) Pink can only be an accent color.
3) Any florals must be on a black background
4) The blacker the better, really.
5) Romantic details will disguise all forms of your hopelessness.

Examples start now:

1) The it’s the way you look beaded dress from Ruche.

I like it because it's sweet enough no one would notice you're in mourning.

2) The Grey Grandeur Dress from Modcloth.

This reminds me of the legend(s) of the Grey Lady. Perfect for those of us who are morose, moribund, and macabre.

3) the In the park after dark strapless dress from Ruche.

Perfect for going out with a group of single girlfriends. I would wear black accessories.

4) Modcloth’s Remarkable Insight Dress plays more into the hopeless side of my heart.

Not only is it schoolmarm severe, it covers any hint of cleavage. SAD bonus.

5) while Ruche’s Vanity Fair Corset Dress definitely plays to the hopeful side of myself.

This is the most pink you would ever see on me in the month of February

6) Modcloth’s Beloved Duchess Dress is sweet.

I adore this because it could be dressed severely or coyly. Romantic makeup and hair would make your man swoon while black nails and grey tights would let the world know you're emotionally unavailable.

7) The Hands I’ve Held Dress from Modcloth.

I don't think this would look out of place on a date with your man or a Singles' Awareness Day party.

8) Ruche’s We were the lucky ones lace wrap dress.

Nauseatingly named, adequately mournful.

9) If I had a real fancy date, I’d rock the Be Still My Heart Dress from Modcloth.

It's beautiful and romantic but shows that, like JLo, you still know where you came from. Alone with a bottle of jack and chocolate you bought yourself.

10) Modcloth’s Motion Picture Siren Dress is my dress of choice.

Not only is it unsexy enough to be buried in, when people ask where your Valentine's Day spirit is, you can point to the rosette on your collar bone.

Any of these would be holy and acceptable unto me. What would you wear?

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–Kaitlin

2 thoughts on “Fashion Friday: A Subtle Way to Stick it To Valentine’s Day While Secretly Being a Hopeless Romantic Somewhere Deep Inside

  1. Maquita

    I want to go through this entire post and tell you everything I think about everything you said because personally, I find my personal commentary hilarious. Also, we need a skype date. This will be the first subject at hand. I’m officially addicted to Fashion Friday, which is funny because I’m fashion unconscious I might as well be comatose.

    Reply

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