It is 22 degrees outside, at nearly noon, and the university has not cancelled class. I do not have pants warm enough for 22 degree weather. I can’t even concentrate. Nor can I type properly, because I’m wrapped in a blanket, trying to expose as little flesh as possible.

This bad news is even somehow stealing the flavor of my homemade chicken caesar salad. Caesar is one of my favorite words of all time. Maybe because it reminds me of the glory and honor of the great Roman Empire. or maybe it’s that snarky combo of “ae” but I like it. Also, it makes me think of Mean Girls and how “we should all just stab Caesar!” And a little bit of Shakespeare. “Et tu, Brute?”

I wanted to take Latin in high school, but my dad was all, “It’s a dead language and you’re not going into the medical field so that is waste of time.”And I was all, “I’m sixteen years old – I’m not a child anymore!” And he was all, “Don’t you take that tone of voice with me young lady. As long as you live under my ocean, you’ll obey my rules!”

I was upset.  “But if you would just listen…”

“Not another word. And I am never, NEVER to hear of you going to the surface again. Is that clear?” he demanded. It was very traumatic.

It also might have been a scene from The Little Mermaid, but I’m not sure about that. Even though Belle is my favorite Disney princess, Ariel is a favorite too. Just a little less favorite. I identify with her need to explore and how she is independent and needs to seek change. And how she feels the need to sing at any given moment.

Too bad in the Hans Christian Anderson original, she turns into sea foam. Sad.

Well, that’s about all I have to say about nothing at all. Y’all have a great day and please stay warm and don’t drive unless you live in a stupid part of the world where it’s 22 degrees and not frozen.

Part of your world,

— Kaitlin




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